What punishment?!?!?

What punishment?!?!?


I have a rule in my house that school comes before anything.  I am more lenient with chores or things at home but with school I may be a little extreme.  So when Brandon brings home a yellow, I lose it.  (In his school they have a daily behavioral monitoring that is Green, Yellow or Red.   If they bring home a green it means they had a good day, a yellow means that the teacher had to call their attention a few times or give them many warnings and a red means that they did not correct themselves after the warnings and there was a consequence.)  The only reasons he has brought home yellows is for talking in class when he is not supposed to.  To be honest with you, I know that this alone is not a big deal.  If they had this system when I was growing up I would have had not only yellows but probably would forever be bringng home reds for talking.  (maybe he got my talking gene =/) However, I feel that if I do not give a consequence at home for a yellow that he will think that bringing home a red is also acceptable.  Lets just say I try to nip it at the bud.  So we are almost at the end of the year and so far he has brought home a total of 5 yellows but the last two were last week in the SAME week.  The first time he got a yellow I had him write a proper letter to apologize to the teacher and I took away TV/electronics for a day.  I figured that I will use this as a writing lesson as well as an apology.  The second and third time I added days to the previous days of no tv/electronics.  For example, the third time, he had no tv/electronics for three days.  I told him if he continues to bring home yellows I will continue to add on days.  


That seemed to work until the last week, when on Tuesday and Thursday he brought yellows.  I had the no tv/electronics on full force for 5 days.  However... on Saturday we had a pool bar-b-q at my uncles house that was planned for a few weeks ahead of time.  He had a blast that day playing with all his cousins, did not matter that he had the no tv/electronics punishment because they were in the pool all day. Then on Sunday, I thought I had the upper hand since I had tons of “boring” errands to do and Robert was staying home with the baby.  So I gave him a choice. (you know the thing that all the parenting books tell you to do. ha!)  He had the choice of either going with me or staying home and doing a cleaning project in his room if Robert was watching TV.  He thought about it and at first he was leaning toward staying home because going with mommy would be just too boring.  However, I think he changed his mind when the lazy bug kicked in.  So he came along with me, almost reluctantly.  I warned him that if he complained, whined or misbehaved he was going to have another day added.  He agreed.  

So there we went, to the mall first where we also had some lunch.  To my surprise we actually had a very good and entertaining conversation.  Then I went to go do my nails, I knew he was going to be bored so I had brought along some math worksheets to practice two chapters he was having a hard time with at school to have him do.  He whizzed by them quickly, I guess he no longer is having trouble with that.  I had also brought a spiral notebook, so I proceeded to write down addition problems about 5 pages worth.  I was astonished that he found that not only challenging but entertaining, he loved it and asked me for more when he was finished!  When I was done with my nails I had to go to a few more stores and grocery shopping.  When we were at the grocery store he was helping me with the grocery list.  While in the car, we had more great, silly conversations.  By looking at his face I can tell he was extremely happy and I actually was having a great time too!  I guess I had not noticed that we have not spent a day alone together in a very long time.  


This little outing was supposed to be a punishment for him.  Little did I know that he was going to enjoy all of it!  Made me think though. I really need to make a bigger effort in spending more one on one time with him more often.  Also, this whole punishment strategy needs a major overhaul because obviously my tactics are not working.  He actually enjoys it!  Sheesh!!!


How do you punish your kids?  What works?  What doesn’t?  I need ideas!

Oh my, how time flies!

Where has the time gone? 

I feel as if it were just yesterday that I was a kid myself.  I sometimes feel like I am a kid trapped in an adult’s body.  I don’t know how exactly or when exactly I became an adult.  I am an adult with two kids, a career, and an apartment with bills to go along with all of it. I can remember being probably about 9 or 10 years old thinking how I could not wait until I was an adult and on my own.  I wanted to have my own rules and not have to rely on anyone else.  Boy, was I wrong!  The older you become the more responsibilities you have and you really do not follow your own rules.  I feel I had more freedom at 10 than I have in my almost 30’s.  I did not have a care in the world, except for of course the constant dilemma of whether or not I was going to have enough time to play outside after I did my homework. 

I look at my boys and I pray that I can give them a childhood they would hypothetically want to come back to when they are adults.  Back to a time where they had fun and did not have to worry about a thing. 

They are already growing up so fast.  I sometimes wish I can press pause and just enjoy them being little for just a little longer.  I feel as if my 7 year old was just a toddler a few days ago and I cannot believe that my new born is already 4 months old.  I hope that I can help them understand that their childhood only last for just a short couple of years compared to the many years of adulthood they have before them.  In reality, you’re an adult for the most part of your entire life.  I hope that I can enjoy their childhood as well.  I often find myself so busy and stressed with work and housework that I lose the special moments they are having being kids.  I try to remind myself about how fast they grow up.  I try to stop doing all the other stuff and just enjoy the moment every now and then.

What do you miss most about your childhood? What do you all do to make yourselves “stop and smell the roses” so to speak?  Do you make a special time for you and your kids to enjoy?  I would love to hear about your special moments that you treasure with your kids.

Just For Today
© Misty J. Eades

Just for this morning I won't wash cloths, instead we will watch your favorite cartoon.
Just for this morning I won't wash dishes, instead we will color together.
Just for this afternoon I won't watch my soaps; instead we will go to the park and feed the ducks.
Just for this afternoon you and I will snuggle up on the couch and watch a favorite movie and eat popcorn.
Just for tonight I will let you help me fix dinner and I won't yell at you for making a mess.
Just for tonight I won't yell when you splash water all over the bathroom floor.
Just for tonight when I tuck you into bed and we snuggle together to read your favorite story I will hold you a little tighter and a little longer and Thank God for giving you to me.

Source: Just For Today, Family Poem about Love http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/just-for-today#ixzz1sMDcdxrt
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com